Attitude of Gratitude

11.18.11

2011-11-18T07:57:00.000-06:00

The most auspicious moment of your life is when you make the commitment to know the truth, a commitment so firm there is no turning back. ~Swami Chidvilasananda

Namaste

2011-07-11T08:09:00.001-05:00

11.18.2010

2010-11-18T07:37:00.001-06:00

Today I celebrate seven years of continuous sobriety.

I received a congratulatory email with the following prayer. It says it all.

Dear Higher Power,
Thank you for the strength and conviction to continue with the task you have entrusted to me. Thank you for guiding me through the many obstacles in my path and for keeping me resolute when all seemed hopeless. Thank you for your protection and the many signs along the way. Thank you for any good I may have done along the way. Thank you for the friends I have made, please watch over them as you watched over me. Thank you for allowing me Serenity, giving me Courage and granting me Wisdom. I will go to my rest in peace knowing I fought the good fight, I finished the race, I kept the faith.
love,
Scott

Share Your Gratitude

2010-08-25T09:25:00.000-05:00

If someone has been kind, thank him or her today. Yes, we can wait and buy that person dinner next week. but how about writing an e-mail this afternoon or leaving a message on a telephone answering machine telling how much you appreciate the kind words or deeds?

We cannot show gratitude without sharing it with someone. When we show our gratitude, it's a way of sharing our joy with that person. Even when we do something as simple as burning a candle to show gratitude to God, it shares our joy with everyone who sees the flame of the candle. It strengthens their faith and reminds them to show their gratitude, too.

Make showing and sharing your gratitude a part of your life. If someone does something nice for you, share your happiness with that person. Send a card or make a phone call. If you believe that a prayer has been answered by God, share your gratitude with God. Tell someone, or thank God publicly at your worship service. If you have had a victory in your recovery, show your gratitude by sharing it with others in your group. Then share your gratitude with them for the help they've given,too.

Demonstrate gratitude in your actions every day. Gratitude is more than just a thought process and more than just a Sunday-morning church activity. Demonstrate your gratitude through your compassion, and your tolerance. Gratitude strengthens and supports our relationships with God and with other people. Make a commitment to show your gratitude by sharing it with others whenever you have the opportunity.

We can show our gratitude for life in even our smallest actions. Find a way to demonstrate your gratitude to the universe. Feed the birds! Action gives life to ideas. When we start to look for ways to show our gratitude, we will find more and more to be grateful for.

Gratitude is a form of self-expression that must be shared. We cannot have an attitude of gratitude without having an object of that gratitude. ~More Language of Letting Go

08.12.10

2010-08-12T07:55:00.001-05:00

When I look back at the life I had when I was drinking and using, it was not a pretty picture. There were the repeated failures, the letting people down, the lies, the time in jail and hospitals. None of these things made my addiction pretty. Sure there were the good times; but when I look back honestly, I wonder how I ever could have wanted this life. I know now that it was not the life I truly wanted. I just wanted a good time.

But I am different. I cannot process alcohol or drugs in my system the same way other people do. I know people that drink normally, and I did not drink like they do. In the program of AA I have learned that nothing I could do could change the way I respond to alcohol or drugs. Physically, psychologically and emotionally I respond differently and negatively to my drugs of choice. I am an addict, and I now have a choice to make. ~Wisdom for Today

2010-07-11T13:37:00.000-05:00

07.06.10

2010-07-06T08:15:00.000-05:00

The method of conducting interventions is considered an effective way of confronting alcoholics and drug addicts. Interventions are done with the hope that this confrontation will "raise the bottom," and that the addict will face the condition before there's further anguish.
However effective interventions may be, they're not part of the 12 Step program. Our work is based on attraction, not the admitted coercion that's part of intervention.
If we take part in interventions, this separation should be clearly understood. The person who still suffers should know that the 12 Step program depends on attraction, not any of the other methods that might be available.
It's important to make this point clear, because the intervention may fail. Whether it does or not, the individual must not be left with the idea that intervention is a 12 Step activity. At any stage, the fellowship is always available to him or her.
I'll probably see lots of people today who need help in facing their addiction. I'll know that their recovery comes in God's good time. ~Walk in Dry Places

06.30.10

2010-06-30T08:07:00.000-05:00

As Bill Sees It

Community Problem, p. 180

The answer to the problem of alcoholism seems to be in education--education in schoolrooms, in medical colleges, among clergymen and employers, in families, and in the public at large. From cradle to grave, the drunk and the potential alcoholic will have to be completely surrounded by a true and deep understanding and by a continuous barrage of information.

This means factual education, properly presented. Heretofore, much of this education has attacked the immortality of drinking rather than the illness of alcoholism.

Now who is going to do all this education? Obviously, it is both a community job and a job for specialists. Individually, we A.A.s can help, but A.A. as such cannot, and should not, get directly into this field. Therefore, we must rely on other agencies, on outside friends and their willingness to supply great amounts of money and effort.

Grapevine, March 1958

06.29.10

2010-06-29T09:03:00.000-05:00

Sometimes the literature says it so succinctly:

Alcoholics are unable or unwilling, during their addiction to alcohol, to live in the present. The result is that they live in a constant state of remorse and fear because of their unholy past and its morbid attraction, or the uncertain future and its vague foreboding. So the only real hope for the alcoholic is to face the present. Now is the time. Now is ours. The past is beyond recall. The future is as uncertain as life itself. Only the now belongs to us. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Step 3 Anyone?

2010-05-31T15:09:00.001-05:00

All the problems you face today are going to go away, unless you worry them to stay.

Problems like worry. Worry is a magnet for them. If you just "let it be," the current worrisome condition will not even be part of your life a short time from now.

If you worry enough about it, however, you can be sure it will stick around. So, just do your best around all this...then turn it over to God. Yes? ~I Believe God Wants You to Know

Spiritual Discipline

2010-05-26T09:25:00.001-05:00

Discipline of yourself is absolutely necessary before the power of God is given to you. When you see others manifesting the power of God, you probably have not seen the discipline that went before. They made themselves ready. All your life is a preparation for more good to be accomplished when God knows that you are ready for it. So keep disciplining yourself in the spiritual life every day. Learn so much of the spiritual laws that your life cannot again be a failure. Others will see the outward manifestation of the inward discipline in your daily living. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

05/24/10 B

2010-05-24T17:55:00.001-05:00

From time to time there will be a reading or a picture I want to share so I will post randomly and you can stop by whenever you feel like it. I am not returning to full-time blogging, but the reading I found today inspired me and I felt the urge to share it.

05/24/10

2010-05-24T17:49:00.000-05:00

I should help others all I can. Every troubled soul that God puts in my path is the one for me to help. As I sincerely try to help, a supply of strength will flow into me from God. My circle of helpfulness will widen more and more. God hands out the spiritual food to me and I pass it on to others. I must never say that I have only enough strength for my own need. The more I give away, the more I will keep.That which I keep to myself, I will lose in the end. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Things Change

2010-02-25T07:57:00.000-06:00

I am taking a break from blogging. This is something I have done regularly for over five years, come here and share my gratitude. It has been an integral part of my sobriety. I have been feeling more and more that I need a little distance from it because it has been really hard lately to exercise restraint of tongue and pen (keyboard). More than likely I will return, but in the long run it is not about me. I just need to figure out what it really is about.

A human being has so many skins inside, covering the depths of the heart. We know so many things, but we don't know ourselves! Why, thirty or forty skins or hides, as thick and hard as an ox's or bear's, cover the soul. Go into your own ground and learn to know yourself there. ~Meister Eckhart

02.24.10

2010-02-24T08:03:00.000-06:00

Thoughts--just mere thoughts--are as powerful as electric batteries--as good for one as sunlight is, or as bad for one as poison. ~Frances Hodgson Burnett

Today I am grateful…

that my BFF turns 3 today
for the privilege of listening to someone’s third step
for mute buttons that keep my TV from being trash in the yard
that prayers concerning being more loving and compassionate REALLY work
to have so much creativity in a holding pattern in my brain. Sometimes, though, it gets bottle-necked trying to get out.

We don't always have to be strong to be strong. Sometimes, our strength is expressed in being vulnerable. Sometimes, we need to fall apart to regroup and stay on track.
We all have days when we cannot push any harder, cannot hold back self doubt, cannot stop focusing on fear, cannot be strong.
There are days when we cannot focus on being responsible. Occasionally we don't want to get out of our pajamas. Sometimes, we cry in front of people. We expose our tiredness, irritability, or anger.
Those days are okay. They are just okay.
Part of taking care of ourselves means we give ourselves permission to "fall apart" when we need to. We do not have to be perpetual towers of strength. We are strong. We have proven that. Our strength will continue if we allow ourselves the courage to feel scared, weak, and vulnerable when we need to experience those feelings. ~The Language of Letting Go

02.23.10

2010-02-23T07:51:00.000-06:00

Hitch your wagon to a star. ~Ralph Waldo Emerson

Today I am grateful…

to have been able to share about the first step when I saw an acquaintance enter the room for the first time, then the welling of tears in my eyes as he took a desire chip
that the CPA got my taxes finished and I am actually getting a small refund
for the ability to set aside my plans and be spontaneous. This is SO different from the old days.
to get this gigantic commission painting installed at the client’s today
to realize for many, many days I owe everything my life is today to my sobriety (last night’s topic)

All of us are influenced by somebody. Not to be influenced is to remain an ignorant person. Most of us hinder our thinking, particularly around spiritual things, because of pride. We don't like change. We find it hard to accept attitudes and opinions that differ from our own. Pride keeps us deaf and often stupid. However, the daily program of a lived spirituality encourages a variety of opinions and attitudes. We can learn from different customs, lifestyles and religions. We can be helped in our understanding of life by the stranger. ~Fr Leo

02.22.10

2010-02-22T07:31:00.000-06:00

And I cannot say what has happened to me, except…I am not the same, I am not the same, I am not the same… ~GM

Today I am grateful…

for smile exchanges
to guard my serenity only second to my sobriety
that I can be in the middle of a small prayer and not even realize I am praying
for practice. Many things have changed due to practice.
for the dream this morning that gave me comfort about change

Our concept of control was flawed. This program leads us into a New World. Here we meet the fact that we are powerless to change some aspects of ourselves. But we can become ready to be changed. That makes all the difference. When we accept this truth, we are already changed and we are more in line with nature and the universe. ~Touchstones

02.21.10

2010-02-21T08:39:00.003-06:00

Only work which is the product of inner compulsion can have spiritual meaning. ~Walter Gropius

Today I am grateful…

that I have not be afraid to recognize my needs
to walk tall in my shoes instead of staring at the sidewalk, head hung in shame
that daily I get everything I need
I do because I can
to respond to change instead of trying to always change it

When you know you are serving a greater cause, there is little room for fear and doubt. You know that what you do will benefit others, so there is no way the universe is not going to support your efforts - even if sometimes it may not look that way. Serving the greater cause allows you to live from the space of your greatness. When you know that what you do can serve a greater cause, you are aware of your power and ability to influence and create change in this world. ~Daily Om

02.20.10

2010-02-20T09:13:00.000-06:00

Oz never did give nothing to the Tin Man that he didn't, didn't already have. ~Dewey Bunnell

Today I am grateful…

that maybe that Cat Stevens brain worm I had for days is gone
that today is so far, so good
to not always know how to do it, but to keep trusting the process
to have an available solution
for the path of less resistance

You are goodness and mercy and compassion and understanding. You are peace and joy and light. You are forgiveness and patience, strength and courage, a helper in time of need, a comforter in time of sorrow, a healer in time of injury, a teacher in times of confusion. You are the deepest wisdom and the highest truth; the greatest peace and the grandest love. You are these things. And in moments of your life you have known yourself as these things. Choose now to know yourself as these things always. ~Conversations with God

02.19.10

2010-02-19T08:01:00.001-06:00

Show me which road to follow, where to go, and what to do. ~Journey to the Heart

Today I am grateful…

that I only have to do it today
that I did it yesterday and will do it again tomorrow
for my dream of life and how it has changed drastically since 11/18/03
for smiles that creep upon my face for no reason other than I am satisfied
for the blessings of this day and the love and grace that supports them and gives me their experience

When someone you know or love comes to mind, or even someone you don't-- perhaps someone in another part of the country or the world, perhaps someone going through a particular crisis-- and you're not certain what to do, send a love letter. Your loving thoughts will touch them and your blessings will all come back to you. ~Journey to the Heart

02.18.10

2010-02-18T07:15:00.001-06:00

We don't stop playing because we get old, we get old because we stop playing. ~Herbert Spencer

Today I am grateful…

while I strive to stay spiritually fit, I will never do it perfectly--in the striving I find everything I need
for all I have been given and all that is on its way to me
that daily I am shown, from inside, my Higher Power's will. I am given the power and the willingness to carry it out.
my sober days pass fairly quickly and smoothly. My drinking days passed slowly and painfully.
for days that end with "y"

Taken with my iPhone

The feeling of attachment, of being related, of caring about someone, is what life is all about. Before recovery, we may have feared we could not love anyone. When we feel love, we may also feel cheated because our affections aren't returned, as we want them to be. Or we may think relationships are just too complicated and painful. It's true that relationships are difficult at times. The only thing more difficult is having none. ~Touchstones

02.17.10

2010-02-17T08:23:00.001-06:00

. . . no one who learns to know himself remains just what he was before. ~Thomas Mann

Today I am grateful…

for the promise of warmer weather. This winter I cannot get used to the cold.
for one of the best first step meetings I have ever attended yesterday. Such humor and solution.
to watch newcomers hit milestones. I know I am being pushed ahead as I watch them.
for my DVR and recorded episodes of RuPaul’s Drag Race
that in all my life, I have never had as much as I have this day

Eggs by Braldt Bralds

Deep inside, we all know that we're changing. It started when we took Step One. We learned and accepted something new about ourselves. That changed us, just a little. We no longer wanted to live as addicts. That meant we had to change and to learn to live sober. It's been nonstop ever since: learn about ourselves, change a little, learn about ourselves, change a little more, and so on. All we know is that each step of learning and changing makes life better. How long can it keep getting better? As long as we keep learning to know ourselves. ~Keep It Simple

02.16.10

2010-02-16T07:49:00.000-06:00

When all is said and done, willingness is everything. ~Frank D

Today I am grateful…

for two excellent meetings yesterday and fellowship after each
that as much as I don’t want to, I will contact my dentist today to see about this crown that broke off. I am a tad perturbed as I addressed this tooth with her a year ago; it was easy to rock back and forth. It was crowned so long ago I didn’t realize it was not an original tooth and I cannot help but think this might have been avoided. Maybe, maybe not. Anyway, I am a wuss son of a dentist.
that the past got me to where I am today
to have heard once, “Not even God can change the past.”

[T]he man with the grown-up brain and the childish emotions - vanity, self-interest, false pride, jealousy, longing for social approval, to name a few - becomes a prime candidate for alcohol. To my way of thinking, that is a definition of alcoholism; a state of being in which the emotions have failed to grow to the stature of the intellect. ~Experience, Strength & Hope, pg. 411

02.15.10

2010-02-15T07:47:00.001-06:00

The walls we build around us to keep out the sadness also keep out the joy. ~Jim Rohn

Today I am grateful…

for the anti-Valentines Day dinner/movie night with fellows
to have thought about Mom a lot yesterday. Valentines was her favorite holiday.
to get back to healthier eating today. I sorta had a food relapse over the weekend. Ugh.
that back in May of 2001 if you told me I would be sober as long as I have been, that I love my life, I would have thought you a crackpot.
for art thoughts

Office in a Small City by Edward Hopper

When you don't need anything, then you truly have everything. When you know that you already have enough, that you already are enough, that everything is as it should be, then your life will be rich indeed. Get past the need to possess and you'll discover that the whole world is yours. Abandon the need to be right and you'll find real truth. ~Ralph Marston

02.14.10

2010-02-14T08:19:00.000-06:00

Faith

2010-02-13T13:55:00.001-06:00

18" x 14", acrylic on canvas board

02.13.10

2010-02-13T08:31:00.001-06:00

I am not bound to win, but I am bound to be true. I am not bound to succeed, but I am bound to live up to the light I have. ~Abraham Lincoln

Today I am grateful…

that I rolled with the punches yesterday
for the outrageous cupcake from Crave handed to me in the back seat last night
that you can make up a story about that last bullet point! But will you share it?
for another sober weekend
for the newcomer text yesterday telling me they were overwhelmed with gratitude and that I could relate

Chair Car by Edward Hopper, 1965

As our integrity grows, our emphasis changes. It is not crucial that we always be right, only that we be honest. We do not have to be winners or high achievers so much as we have to be real human beings. Conquest is not as important as connection. We do not always have to compare ourselves and be better than the next guy. We can exchange and appreciate the communication. ~Touchstones

02.12.10

2010-02-12T08:01:00.000-06:00

We are always the same age inside. ~Gertrude Stein

Today I am grateful…

for maintenance of my spiritual condition by attending a meditation program last night
that I am welcome to as much joy or as much sorrow as I want today. They are both free for the taking. Thinking I will choose the joy part.
that any worry I have today is rooted in fear, thus in reality, false
to keep enough free space in my mind so that anything new has a chance to settle in
that I don't understand everything--what good would that do?

Sun, Empty Room by Edward Hopper

Deep inside, we each have a child's spirit. We still have many of the feelings we had when we were young. Some of us have a hurting child inside. There's sadness, fear, or anger that hasn't gone away. We're still lonely, no matter how many people care about us. Our inner child needs special help to heal. We can be good parents to our inner child. We do this by being gentle and caring with ourselves. In time, this child can be a happy center in our hearts. ~Keep It Simple

02.11.10

2010-02-11T08:01:00.001-06:00

To the untrained, casual eye, each wave looks the same. It is not. No two are the same. And each one washes away the old, and washes in the new.

Today I am grateful…

for the uber comfortableness of a home group
for silly ‘getting the giggles like I was a kid in church’ moments in last nights meeting
that a while back I added the gratitude for teaching me to be more compassionate to my daily prayers. It’s paying off.
that when I am not thinking about myself my mind is in a more comfortable place
that I don’t think I have ever been President of the United States

There's no way to prepare for deep grief, for the pain that shatters a heart and a life when a loved one leaves.
No one can coach us on it. Those who could, who knew exactly how it felt, who could describe it in detail, wouldn't do it, would not presume to encroach on this most intimate part of our relationship with a loved one. Those who casually say, "Aren't you over that yet?" don't understand.
This much I will tell you about grief: If there was ever a second, or a moment, when you suspected or knew you had been betrayed at the deepest level by someone you adored, and a splintering pain began to shred your heart, turn your world grimly unbearable to the point where you would consciously choose denial and ignorance about the betrayal rather than feel this way, that is one-millionth of what it feels like to grieve.
Grief is not an abnormal condition, nor is it something to be treated with words. It is a universe, a world, unto itself. If you are called to enter this world, there is no turning back. We are not allowed to refuse that call. Grief is like nothing else, with the possible exception of the pounding waves of the ocean. To the untrained, casual eye, each wave looks the same. It is not. No two are the same. And each one washes away the old, and washes in the new.
Gradually, almost imperceptibly, whether we believe it or not, we are being transformed. ~The Language of Letting Go

02.10.10

2010-02-10T08:01:00.000-06:00

Three things in human life are important. The first is to be kind. The second is to be kind. And the third is to be kind. ~Henry James

Today I am grateful…

that I attended Art Critique Houston last night and was asked to join. A small group of artists meet quarterly or so and four artists bring their work for critique. I was comfortable and chatty and was able to contribute to the discussion. This is a total reversal from my old, isolation days.
for the thirty seconds every day where I go through all the Click to Give websites. Just by clicking you can help feed an animal, provide literacy for children and more. Please bookmark and visit daily. It’s so simple and easy.
that I am outta time. I forgot we are meeting a client early and I gotta scoot.

Life doesn't promise us anything, except a chance. We have a chance to live any way we like. No matter how we choose to live, we'll have pain and we'll have joy. And we can learn from both.
Because of our recovery program, we can have life's biggest wonder---love. We share it in a smile, a touch, a phone call, or a note. We share it with our friends, our partners, our family. Life didn't promise to be wonderful, but it sure is full of little wonders! And we only have to open up and see them, feel them, and let them happen. ~Keep It Simple

02.09.10

2010-02-09T07:37:00.000-06:00

You've got to do your own growing, no matter how tall your grandfather was. ~Irish Proverb

Today I am grateful…

that little gifts can bring huge smiles and hugs
to be convinced I have what it takes for today
for recovery blogs—what a great connection we have
to be reminded of how people see me, because sometimes I have the fun house mirror reflection
for the sharing from the heart in the Beginners meeting

Lou invited us to post a picture that makes us smile.

Sometimes I feel sad or depressed and think I'm doing something wrong. With all the work I'm doing to change my life, shouldn't I feel happy all the time?

No. Sadness is just as much a part of life as happiness. Just as all the seasons are part of nature, all my feelings are part of me. Would I awaken on a rainy day and refuse to let it rain? Would I claim that I'm going to do everything I can to stop the rain? No. When it rains, it rains. ~Hazelden Thought for the Day

02+08=10

2010-02-08T07:35:00.000-06:00

Nobody can cause more needless grief than a power-driver who thinks he has got it straight from God. ~Bill W

Today I am grateful…

the love and race from a Higher Power that fills my life, gets down into the nooks and crannies
that I was shown the way through to the other side of my addiction
for the loving program of AA and how a profound affect it has had on my life
to truly not regret the past. Carrying the past is a heavy burden. Today I can use it for reference, keep my side of the street clean and have room to grow.
for 2,274 days of alcohol free living

Spirituality involves our attitudes and perceptions as well as our prayers. Spirituality requires a realistic awareness of what we need and what we have been given. Spirituality sees beyond the problems into the solution.
Hope is a feeling that is based on a spiritual perception of life that shuns apathy and negativity. Everything can be used for good if it is perceived realistically; destructive experiences, painful moments and failed relationships can all be used to create a new tomorrow.
The hope that stems from our ability to change requires a realistic understanding of what has happened. No aspect of life should be wasted because it can point to a glorious tomorrow. ~Fr Leo

02.07.10

2010-02-07T09:11:00.000-06:00

It is the weak who are cruel. Gentleness can only be expected from the strong. ~Leo Rosten

The Third Step

2010-02-06T14:51:00.000-06:00

18" x 14" (canvas size), acrylic on canvas board

02.06.10

2010-02-06T08:49:00.000-06:00

Behind an able man there are always other able men. ~Chinese proverb

Today I am grateful…

for sober friends who face life’s difficulties head on
for boundaries
that tonight is an art night. Gallery openings and then the Art for IAC auction at Lambda Center. IAC (International Advisory Council) is the recognized GLBT arm of AA.
that I don’t have to be right and I don’t have to be wrong. Sometimes, often times, it just is what it is.
that I can be a trusted friend that can be called at 4:15AM

Most of us have had a strong desire in our lives to "do it ourselves." We have had the idea that strength and independence meant we should not rely on or receive help from others. Now, in recovery, we are learning a far more mature and time-honored principle. We find strength to develop to our fullest as members of a community. Maybe we never learned how to ask for help. Perhaps we haven't learned yet how to accept it. It may still be difficult to express our gratitude for the help that brought us where we are today.
In recovery, we get many lessons about these things. If we are actively growing, we will get help from others and give it too. The rewards of recovery give us ample reasons and opportunities to express our gratitude. We are no longer loners. Now we have a network of friends who truly enjoy and enhance each other's strength. ~Touchstones

02 x 05 = 10

2010-02-05T08:37:00.000-06:00

Don't compromise yourself. You are all you've got. ~Janis Joplin

Today I am grateful…

for the creative spirit of mankind. It’s hard to imagine what we have eked out of science in such a short time.
to not have to drive on the clogged freeways around here. There are too many people in this world.
for this day at my disposal. I plan to be creative, attend a meeting, take some paintings to be photographed and have dinner with old friends tonight.
that my Higher Power is more generous, more inventive and more sustaining than I ever imagined
that, baby, you’ve got what it takes!

One of recovery's greatest gifts is discovering we can make decisions that represent us, our inner selves, and those decisions please us. We all are familiar with the tiny tug of shame that locates itself in our solar plexus. When we "go along," when we "give in" on a personally important issue, we pay a consequence. We lose a bit of ourselves. Over the years we've lost many bits. ~Each Day a New Beginning

02.04.10

2010-02-04T07:43:00.000-06:00

Honesty makes us comfortable rather than pained, relaxed rather than anxious, and decisive rather than confused. ~Walk in Dry Places

Today I am grateful…

to have watched my fellowship pop up around me
for the reduced-to-tears laughter at dinner with friends last night
that I love Michelle Obama but her new hairdo isn’t working for me
that I love myself and my hairdo IS working for me
to have no valid complaints today. I could complain but it wouldn’t do any good.
for the day ahead and whatever it holds

It's the moment that's important. Each moment holds choice. Our spirits grow through working our program moment to moment. Moments lead to days, days to years, and years to a life of honest recovery.
It will be the moments of choice that we remember. The moment we call a friend instead of being alone.
The moment we decide to go for a walk instead of arguing with our partner. The moment we decide to go to an extra meeting instead of drinking or using other drugs. The moments lead us to our Higher Power.
These moments teach us that we're human, that we need others. At these moments, we know others care about us--our joys, and our struggles.~Keep It Simple

02.03.10

2010-02-03T08:45:00.000-06:00

Shame is a spell others put on us to control us, to keep us playing our part in dysfunctional systems. It is a spell many of us have learned to put on ourselves. ~The Language of Letting Go

Today I am grateful…

for yesterday’s gratitude meeting. It’s my favorite topic.
for this mornings rustling of the wind and the soft tinkle of wind chimes
for all the fears that have fallen to the wayside since I got into a program of recovery. I used to hold them so close to my chest I couldn’t even see them anymore, but the effects were drastic.
for the art of Norman Rockwell. Today is the anniversary of his birth. He was a meticulous American illustrator, whom I am convinced saw the world through the eyes of the ordinary man.
that I am allowed my own human-ness

Learning to reject shame can change the quality of our life. It's okay to be who we are. We are good enough. Our feelings are okay. Our past is okay. It's okay to have problems, make mistakes, and struggle to find our path. It's okay to be human and cherish our humanness.
Accepting ourselves is the first step toward recovery. Letting go of shame about who we are is the next important step.
Today, I will watch for signs that I have fallen into shame's trap. If I get hooked into shame, I will get myself out by accepting myself and affirming that it's okay to be who I am. ~LOLG

02.02.10

2010-02-02T09:19:00.000-06:00

You are what you are and where you are because of what has gone into your mind. You can change what you are and where you are by changing what goes into your mind. ~Zig Ziglar

Today I am grateful…

to have been asked to chair next Monday nights Beginners meeting
the healing of an alcoholic extends far past himself
for being shown the difference in struggling and letting go
I do not have to agree with everyone, in fact I can't
the truth is revealed to me in small doses so I can comprehend it

Forever is longer than you know. Eternal is longer than Forever. God is more than you imagine. God is the energy you call imagination. God is creation. God is first thought. And God is last experience. And God is everything in between. ~Conversations with God

02.01.10

2010-02-01T08:07:00.000-06:00

A great many people think they are thinking when they are only rearranging their prejudices. ~William James

Today I am grateful…

for the 12 step calls God keeps handing me
for the freedom of being available
today I have enough
today I do not have to struggle with a desire to drink
I can carry gratitude in my heart today. Gratitude has been a major healing factor in my life of recovery.

Who can render an account of all the miseries that once were ours, and who can estimate the release and joy that later years have brought to us? Who can possibly tell the vast consequences of what God's work through A.A. has already set in motion?

And who can penetrate the deeper mystery of our wholesale deliverance from slavery, a bondage to a most hopeless and fatal obsession which for centuries possessed the minds and bodies of men and women like ourselves? ~As Bill Sees It

01.31.10

2010-01-31T08:31:00.000-06:00

It's not a question of finding the right person, but becoming the right person. ~Anon.

Today I am grateful…

for the birthday celebrants last nigh with over 500 years collective sobriety
today I am not afraid of the silence
that the sirens I hear are not coming for me
for the incredible amount of talent in this world
that the only good thing about winter returning is that it won’t last forever

Friday night’s full moon

It's mainly a quiet battle. It's fought daily. We fight and win by acting in a spiritual way. We fight and win every time we help a friend, go to meetings, or read about how to improve our lives We move slowly but always forward. Rushing will only tire us out. Our battle will go on for life. We are quiet fighters, but we're strong, for we do not fight alone. And we know what waits for us if we lose. ~Keep It Simple

01.30.10

2010-01-30T09:07:00.000-06:00

Everyone has his own fingerprints. The white light streams down to be broken up by those human prisms into all the colors of the rainbow. Take your own color in the pattern and be just that. ~Charles R. Brow

Today I am grateful…

today I do not have to drink or use a drug to alter my feelings
for the chance to meet with my sponsor
last night I got a big dose of Armando’s Taco truck tacos, the art of Barkley Hendricks at the CAMH, got in half a meeting and fellowship afterwards. Great Friday night!
that when I was asked to share and since I got there late, I just apologized for being late, that the tacos at the Contemporary Art Museum were fantastic and that I was grateful to be in a meeting of Alcoholics Anonymous and let someone who showed up on time share
tonight is birthday night at Lambda Center

Me, C. 1987

The Big Book clearly says that before I am halfway through making amends, I will begin to know a "new" freedom; not the old freedom of doing what I pleased, without regard to others, but the new freedom that allows fulfillment of the promises in my life. What a joy to be free! ~Daily Reflections

01.29.10

2010-01-29T08:25:00.000-06:00

Be aware of the negative rain in your life. If even a stone can be worn down over time by constant falling rain. ~Language of Letting Go

Today I am grateful…

for this morning’s text from an unknown source that said, “I have an overwhelming feeling of joy and gratitude for life. I am glad you’re in my life and enjoy the person you are. Namaste” I found out who by thanking them and telling them I did not recognize the number. Isn’t that a sweet start to a day?
to have gone through my box of old photos. I culled out a bunch to trash and marveled at the memories. I also started to scan and Photoshop some of my favorites.
for the incredible rain and thunder last night which washed the Earth and brought cool temperatures
the truth gets eked out, sometimes in small amounts, sometimes in larger amounts
there are things I used to run from that I now run towards

To know that each newcomer with whom I share has the opportunity to experience the relief that I have found in this Fellowship fills me with joy and gratitude. I feel that all the things described in A.A. will come to pass for them, as they have for me, if they seize the opportunity and embrace the program fully. ~Daily Reflections

01.28.10

2010-01-28T08:33:00.001-06:00

Never assume you know who I am or what I'm doing, ask me a question instead. ~Carol Neilson

Today I am grateful…

for people who say, “I love you.”
that anything is possible
for all the luxuries in my little life
that I am here and you are there, that means we are in the places we are supposed to be, right now
that I do not miss drinking, smoking or overeating

Above from Rockwell Kent

Our progress today, and certainly our serenity, is enhanced by our willingness to accept all that we are blessed with today. Not only to accept, but to celebrate, trusting that these events are moving us toward our special destiny. -Each Day a New Beginning

Occupied Dreams

2010-01-27T17:21:00.001-06:00

30" x 24", acrylic on canvas

01.27.10

2010-01-27T08:29:00.000-06:00

Muddy water, let stand, becomes clear. ~Lao-tzu

Today I am grateful…

that I don't have to set the rules. I don't have to experiment. All I have to do is what you said worked for you.
to know when I am discontent I am just arguing with life
for the intelligence of alcoholics. I think we, as a whole, are the funniest people on Earth.
for the power to carry 'that' out
that occasionally my mind goes on field trips, but never strays too far from home

You can’t lose in this game. You can’t go wrong. It’s not part of the plan. There’s no way not to get where you are going. There’s no way to miss your destination. If God is your target, you’re in luck, because God is so big, you can’t miss. ~CwG

01.26.10

2010-01-26T07:43:00.004-06:00

My Mother told me
If I was goody
That she would buy me
A rubber dolly
My Auntie told her
I'd kissed a soldier
Now she won’t buy me
A rubber dolly

~The Clapping Song

Today I am grateful…

for yes, yes, yes, yes, no, yes
that I was able to find relief that I did not have to drink again instead of anger that I could not
for the life outline I did years ago and how it changed my thinking
yesterday a friend from the past reached out with questions regarding a loved one’s drinking. Once again I was where I was supposed to be, at home with time. I texted a friend about it and his reply back was—God must really want you to stay sober, girl. That was just so bright and shiny to me.
gratitude rushes in where this fool once walked
that today is Bunny’s fourth birthday (see post below)

Imagine walking up to the counter at the local fast-food restaurant and asking if they had your order ready. "What order?" the counterperson would ask. "Did you phone one in?" "No, but I thought you might have something for me behind the counter anyway."
It's absurd, you might say. How could I expect them to have food ready for me when I hadn't yet placed my order.
Exactly. And how can you expect the magic of the universe to start bringing you the things and experiences that you want for your life if you haven't named them yet.
Have you placed an order yet? Maybe you thought about it at the beginning of the year, but put it off until you had more time to think about it. And every day, you wake up and stand at the counter of life asking, "What do you have for me?"
If you haven't asked for anything, you may have to settle for whatever life hands your way. Why not take the time to ask? You don't have to be too specific, just ask for what you want. Want adventure? Put it on the list. Want love? Write it down. There is no guarantee that you'll get everything you request. Life may have other plans for you. But you'll never know whether you can get what you want unless you know what that is, and ask for it first. ~More Language of Letting Go

Happy Birthday, Bunny!

2010-01-26T07:21:00.000-06:00

My little boy is FOUR today!

01.25.10

2010-01-25T07:45:00.000-06:00

Keep doing what you're doing and you'll keep getting what you're getting. ~Anonymous

Today I am grateful…

that I finished the first layer of a large canvas for a client. I had to take it outside to work on it and the weather was gorgeous.
to have a week stretching out in front of me
for every tick of the clock I have a little more recovery under my belt
that I really, really, really do not understand why so many people want to know what Tiger Woods did/does/will do. I seriously do not care.
that I asked my HP this morning to redirect my thoughts

A newly recovering physician expressed his frustration. “I'm angry,” he said, “because everywhere around me people are drinking and having a good time, and I don't dare take a drink.” A doctor who was in his fifth year of sobriety responded, “When I found out that I couldn't drink anymore, it was a sense of relief. I don't have to fight that battle anymore.” It's pretty much how you look at it. You can resent it, or you can breathe a sigh of relief. Just think how much energy you can save, how your mind can be free of worry. ~Sober Thought for the Day

01.24.10

2010-01-24T08:09:00.001-06:00

Don't try, don't force, don't make it happen. Let. Let it happen. ~Melody Beattie

Today I am grateful…

that things change over time. Many to my amazement. This morning I was really enjoying listening to a Timbaland album. I never thought…
for all the files in my brain just waiting to be pulled up and opened
for a trip to Galveston last night to see a friend’s art show, seafood dinner, laughter and fabulous 80s music remixes
for all the things I have left at my Higher Power’s feet over the years
a well polished tool kit gets me through tough spots

Norman V. Peale wrote that "God runs a beauty parlor," meaning that plain people with gracious thoughts tend to become more attractive as years wear on. We need not fear our own thoughts and feelings if we are continuing to work the program. As the sober years stretch out, we will be improving our thoughts and feelings, and this will tell others what the program is doing for us and through us. ~Walk in Dry Places

01.23.10

2010-01-23T06:35:00.000-06:00

I woke up at 4:20 AM after an itchy, restless, discontented sleep.

Last night I got a call from a friend who is out of town with his family for an emergency. He answered a call from an alcoholic in trouble with a relapse. He asked me if I could drop everything and make a 12th step call. I said yes, then found out the person in need is someone from the rooms that I have had LOTS of trouble listening to as he spreads the disease through his self-centered shares. I was not hesitant to make the call, but my brain wanted to fester up a big resentment. I said a prayer and left for Lambda Center. A friend walked in right after me and he agreed to accompany me. I have been taught we do not make these calls alone.

We found our man in his robe not looking too bad for the wear, but he did seem disoriented. We didn’t ask a lot of questions of him. He wanted to go to the VA hospital. He gave me his house keys and the alarm codes and I noticed the cat had food and water. He got dressed and we drove him to the hospital. On the trip there I texted my out-of-town friend that we were on our way. I got one back, he was sitting in an AA meeting. I got this huge, overwhelming feeling we were all where we were supposed to be. Fairly quickly they got our man into an ER holding room. My accomplice and I sat in the waiting room, talked about the stuff you talk about in these situations and paid attention to our iPhones. I ended up giving the nurse my name and phone number so we could be on our way to dinner. Our man tried his best to be dramatic and convince me to feel sorry for him.

My accomplice and I had dinner at a really gay place. We laughed, he texted his sponsor about the call we had made. We discussed our programs and where we were with them. I dropped him at his car and came home. At 10:15, five hours after we dropped our man off at the VA, he called me and said they would not keep him. I texted my out-of-town friend and he told me to stay in touch with him as the event continued. I picked up our man. We got his prescription filled. He wanted a burger so we drove through Burger King and he wanted to pay for that dollar burger with a credit card. When I got him home the first thing he did was go to the kitchen and take the giant bottle of vodka out and turn it upside down in the sink. It emptied. I made sure he was okay and left.

I try not to talk on the phone when I am driving, but on the way home I needed to be in touch with my out-of-town friend. We marveled at how our program of AA works. He is where he is supposed to be and I was, too. It has been a long time since I made a 12th step call. It wasn’t nearly as awful as it could have been. The person we took care of has been trying to get and stay sober for untold years. Self-importance can take me down that same road. It did not matter that he is capable of making huge money, owns property, can speak eloquently…alcohol is no respecter of those things. It will slice and dice you until you cannot stand. I am truly grateful for the first step and the honesty it takes to practice it.

God could and would if He were sought.

Today I am grateful…

if I seek God, if I stand close to God, if I do my best to follow God’s will I will be guaranteed to have a better experience of God. It seems there is no decision to it, like water has no conscious effort to find its level.
for this medium where I can list my gratitude
that I can and will return to my bed shortly
that I am not nursing a hangover on a Saturday morning
that tonight I am going to dinner and a friend’s gallery opening in Galveston

Now we come to another kind of problem: the intellectually self-sufficient man or woman. To these, many A.A.s can say, "Yes, we were like you--far too smart for our own good. We loved to have people call us precocious. We used our education to blow ourselves up into prideful balloons, though we were careful to hide this from others. Secretly, we felt we could float above the rest of the folks on our brainpower alone. Scientific progress told us there was nothing man couldn't do. Knowledge was all-powerful. Intellect could conquer nature. Since we were brighter than most folks (so we thought), the spoils of victory would be ours for the thinking. The god of intellect displaced the God of our fathers. But again John Barleycorn had other ideas. We who had won so handsomely in a walk turned into all-time losers. We saw that we had to reconsider or die. We found many in A.A. who once thought as we did. They helped us to get down to our right size. By their example they showed us that humility and intellect could be compatible, provided we placed humility first. When we began to do that, we received the gift of faith, a faith which works. This faith is for you, too." ~ 12 & 12

01.22.10

2010-01-22T07:51:00.001-06:00

Silence is so accurate. ~Mark Rothko

Today I am grateful…

no matter what may happen today it won’t be as bad as one of my old drunk days
for the freedom to be happy
that I don’t need a whole lot to feel fulfilled, but sometimes a little concentration helps
for the comfort of "fitting in"
today I will try not to be quicker than God

Your one and only true and great work in this lifetime is to paddle your own soul through the creative rivers and tributaries of experience home to the peaceful pool of infinity. When you arrive and awaken you will find that all it took was a deep breath. ~Lani Picard

01.21.10

2010-01-21T07:45:00.000-06:00

What is defeat?...Nothing but the first step to something better. ~Wendell Phillips

Today I am grateful…

yesterday all was well in my life but my mind was really convinced I needed to be fearful and angry. The mind didn’t win yesterday.
so much of life is mysterious and I don’t have to know all the working pieces, but I dreamed I was in a wheel chair because my left leg was bothering me. I woke with my left hip, knee and ankle achy.
that my life isn’t a Jackie Chan movie
to strive to follow the advise, "Don't let others rent space in your head" it's a hard one for me, often
I don't get lonely, my anger subsides fairly quickly, if I get tired I nap and my hunger only comes from watching my food intake

I just know that you are expected, at some point, to do more than carry the message of A.A. to other alcoholics. In A.A. we aim not only for sobriety--we try again to become citizens of the world that we rejected, and of the world that once rejected us. This is the ultimate demonstration toward which Twelfth Step work is the first but not the final step. ~Bill W

01.20.10

2010-01-20T08:29:00.001-06:00

Service is really a beautiful word. Service means respect. When we serve others we're part of the human race. ~Keep It Simple

Today I am grateful…

to have attended the meeting last night where I got sober. The topic was helping others. A 12th step is what brought me back into the program. I am reminded of what it was like—often. I have to be reminded because my rememberer is broken.
for smart, loving, funny-as-hell friends
for vigilance. It’s so different not running into as many walls as I once did.
that I don’t always have to know why. Sometimes the answer is because.
to have answered ‘yes’ last night when my brain was screaming ‘NO!’ It was in answer to something that might help my painting career, the no came from fear.

The majority of us lead quiet, unheralded lives as we pass through this world. There will most likely be no ticker tape parades for us, no monuments created in our honor. But that does not lessen our possible impact, for there are scores of people waiting for someone just like us to come along; people who will appreciate our compassion, our encouragement, who will need our unique talents. Someone who will live a happier life merely because we took the time to share what we had to give. Too often we underestimate the power of a touch, a smile, a kind word, a listening ear, an honest compliment, or the smallest act of caring, all of which have the potential to turn a life around. It's overwhelming to consider the continuous opportunities there are to make our love felt. --Leo Buscaglia

There is no such thing as complete acceptance. When you can remember a loss with a little distance and much less pain, you have accepted the loss and mourned it fully. You accept that life is different now and move on. ~David Viscott

01.19.10

2010-01-19T08:03:00.000-06:00

Self-realization is not a matter of withdrawal from a corrupt world or narcissistic contemplation of oneself. An individual becomes a person by enjoying the world and contributing to it. ~Francine Klagsbrun

Today I am grateful…

for comment moderation. Some people have nothing better to do with their small lives than to leave their sick diatribe on other’s property. Other’s think by taking time to post their business promotion it will increase revenue? I have never clicked through to someone’s business website through any comment left on a blog. So, sorry the comment moderation thing is back in effect.
that someone told me they thanked the Baby Jesus for my friendship with their partner. That just tickled me.
for all the happy pups at the dog groomer’s yesterday. From the tiniest Chihuahua to the gigantic, gray dappled Great Dane. They were so happy and not much makes me happier than seeing happy pups.
that happiness can be as simple or complicated as I choose. Usually I choose the simple route.
for my life as it is, as it was and as it will be

Let go of the uncontrollable in your life. You're not a solitary being in this great universe, set to struggle against all of the forces, you're part of the whole. And the changes that come-- whether they're joyous or sad, easy or difficult-- are just a part of the growing process that each of us goes through.
Feel the pain when you have a loss. Feel the joy when you triumph. Then let go and continue to grow.
See how connected you are. ~The Language of Letting Go

01.18.10

2010-01-18T08:37:00.000-06:00

The mind and its objects cannot be known simultaneously. ~Patanjali

Today I am grateful…

for an art productive Sunday
today will be another day of art-tivity
for Joan Rivers. I watched her on the New Year’s Eve Graham Norton Show and she is really, really smart and funny. She made me laugh over and over.
my fear of others has diminished greatly allowing healthy relationships to bloom; a by-product of which is feeling more at ease in my own skin
for all the blessings in my life, supported by love and grace

God loves you with the very air you breath, the very light that touches your skin, the very ground that supports you. Love is everywhere -- melt your barriers, and you will have love in abundance. ~CwG

You are the artist in your life

You create the images and colors on the canvas called your life. Are you creating the picture you want? Does your canvas convey a life of fulfillment and growth? Or does your canvas convey chaos and despair?

Etienne with Roses

2010-01-17T17:01:00.001-06:00

30" x 24", collage mounted on canvas
Art for IAC donation item

01.17.09

2010-01-17T08:41:00.000-06:00

Once the game is over, the king and the pawn go back into the same box. ~Italian proverb

Today I am grateful…

help can arrive quickly after a disaster. One hundred years ago it would have been months for a ship to reach Haiti, then return to home port. It would then take more time for the news to reach us.
our client made it out of Haiti thanks to a local connection to mercenaries who flew her out of the country
for Saturday game night. Raucous laughter with good friends.
that I just keep doing my gratitude lists, some days I just don’t want to—but it is such a part of my recovery I keep going.
to have so many, many little things that bring me incredible joy

In reaching out to others and letting them know I care, I have discovered that I am really helping myself. My carelessness disappears when I reach out to others. This does not mean that I am willing to put myself or my recovery at risk, but it does mean that I need to be willing to carry the message and I need to be willing to show others I care. Sometimes, this means offering someone a ride to a meeting or hanging out with someone after a meeting because they need to talk. Sometimes it means being willing to make a phone call and at other times it means helping someone laugh out loud. ~Wisdom for Today

01.16.10

2010-01-16T08:51:00.000-06:00

Treat people as if they were what they ought to be and you help them to become what they are capable of being. ~Goethe

Today I am grateful…

my actions keep reminding me of how far I still have to go
I have no hold on yesterday and tomorrow will never get here
that although I still have the disease of 'more', I have it a bit less
persistence and perseverance usually pay off, if I can wait a while
during laughter, nothing else exists

It is when you are willing to listen to yourself and be fearless that figuring out your next step becomes easy. Beneath the fear and hesitation and uncertainty lies your inner knowing that always knows which step you need to take next. If you can allow the taking of your next step to be as easy as putting one foot in front of the next, you’ll notice that your next step is always the one that is right in front of you. All you have to do is put one foot forward and on the ground. ~Daily Om

01.15.10

2010-01-15T08:15:00.001-06:00

What do I want to hear God say when I reach the other side? “I understand.”

Today I am grateful…

that I can pray anywhere, anytime about anything
for those counting days and those counting years
to be where I am today, unafraid, the shame dog at bay. Temporarily.
for the mysteries of life that keep me guessing
that gratitude has changed my life

What are you going through in your life right now?
Don't feel you're the only one.
Open your eyes.
Open your heart to your connections with your larger family.
Let them share their stories with you.
Let them share their strengths, hopes, fears, and joys.
Stop looking for what's different and what makes you separate and apart.
Go on an adventure of discovering your common bonds.
~Melody Beattie

01.14.10

2010-01-14T07:45:00.000-06:00

If you want to build a ship, don’t drum up people to collect wood and don’t assign them tasks and work, but rather teach them to long for the endless immensity of the sea. ~Antoine de Saint Exupery

Today I am grateful…

for last night’s meeting where the topic was the Twelve Steps. The first person shared their experience, strength and hope about Step One, the second person about Step Two and so on. I was lucky to share first. It was powerful. And Step Twelve ended two minutes before the scheduled closing time, right on target.
to be often reminded of the rubble I left behind. First Step meetings do that every time.
for the fullness of spirit I feel often. To be so emotionally accepting of the welling up of gratitude for what I have been given so freely.
that God would and could if He were sought
for a life so full I cannot imagine how it just keeps getting better and better—but it does

I will learn to overcome myself, because every blow to selfishness is used to shape the real, eternal, imperishable me. As I overcome myself, I gain that power which God releases in my soul. And I too will be victorious. It is not the difficulties of life that I have to conquer, so much as my own selfishness. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

01.13.10

2010-01-13T07:57:00.001-06:00

You will never fully grasp the depth of life's richness. For the more of it you experience, the more of it there is. ~Ralph Marston

Today I am grateful…

for nights when we go to bed and I tell Bunny how lucky we are
for all the things that have happened to me in my lifetime. My history.
to feel as if I have led several lives in this lifetime. None of them as a spy, though.
to be reminded how guarded our disease makes us. Last night I watched the season premiere of Celebrity Rehab. The denial, the fear in a giant of a man was humbling.
that Houston seemed to be in such a good mood yesterday. The temperatures are back to the temperate winter we normally have. It was bright and shiny and felt warm.

I will say thank you to God for everything, even the seeming trials and worries. I will strive to be grateful and humble. My whole attitude toward the Higher Power will be one of gratitude. I will be glad for the things I have received. I will pass on what God reveals to me. I believe that more truths will flow in, as I go along in the new way of life. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

01.12.10

2010-01-12T08:45:00.000-06:00

The gift of love means this: I want to share with you whatever I have that is good. ~John Powell

Today I am grateful…

that it was 45º when I woke this morning instead of the freezing temperatures we have had this winter
for the most part I have resigned from the debating society
for a Higher Power that has taught me to be grateful
for my New Year’s focus – compassion
that I have to occasionally delete shows from my DVR because I do not watch that much TV any more

011110

2010-01-11T08:03:00.000-06:00

Fear is only an illusion. It is the illusion that creates the feeling of separateness--the false sense of isolation that exists only in. your imagination. ~Jeraldine Sounders

Today I am grateful…

for a night’s sleep where I didn’t have to take a bathroom break. Oh, and dreamed of being with Lady Gaga.
I recognize I am still stubborn. I am a lot more flexible than I have ever been, but I still hold my cards close to my chest some days.
I would seriously rather be happy than be right
for one of the most important tools I have, another alcoholic to talk to
that I can make a terrific cup of coffee at home

We are one. We are connected, interdependent parts of the whole. We are not separate from each other except in the mind, in our false understanding of reality. As we come to understand our connectedness, our need for one another to complete the whole of creation, our fears will die. ~Touchstones

01.10.10

2010-01-10T08:41:00.001-06:00

If you’re not careful you will drown in your own expectations. ~CwG

Today I am grateful…

for the carefree running around afternoon yesterday with a friend
to have been able to be spontaneous and consider things I was not willing to consider doing before
to watch the opening of the tightly held, tender petals of another’s heart
that I could offer a solution yesterday to someone’s pain (meet me at a meeting)
that all in all, my life purrs

We will want the good that is in us all, even in the worst of us, to flower and
grow. But first of all we shall want sunlight, nothing much can grow in the dark.
Meditation is our step out into the sun. ~Bill W

01+09=10

2010-01-09T09:35:00.001-06:00

Extremists think that 'communication' means agreeing with them. ~Leo Rosten

Today I am grateful…

that I have my first piece in a show in a New York City gallery. It is a donation piece to the Postcards from the Edge,supporting Visual Aids.
that most of my car trips are ten minutes or under
that I strive for contentment, but there are times my mind wants to complicate the most simple of things
that any hiding out today is relatively small compared to the elaborate isolating behaviors of my past. Many things diminish in importance when exposed to the light.
that you will have a tremendous day because you want to

Even in sobriety, we have to guard against the impossible dreams we nourished while drinking. Again and again, we must remind ourselves that sober living is based on reality. Even reality, however, can have its miracles. I'll keep my dreams alive today, but I'll make sure that they have a good foundation in reality. ~Walk in Dry Places

01.08.10

2010-01-08T08:49:00.001-06:00

So, don't take for granted just what you see. Look under the mask, that's where the real person will be. ~author unknown

Today I am grateful…

for having lived in Texas for nearly 33 years. Our winters are mild and I am not accustomed to the cold. It’s 26º outside right now and the heat has been running full force for an hour. It’s still 63º in my little bungalow. Brrrrr.
when I was early in sobriety and my car needed major work a friend offered to pay for it. The expense was going to be $500 higher if they fixed the heat coil in the dashboard. Since we normally don’t really need a car heater for more than a couple days a year I had them bind off the coil—so my car now is without a heater. Yesterday it was brutal, today I am not sure if I can be in it for more than a few minutes.

When men and women pour so much alcohol into themselves that they destroy their lives, they commit a most unnatural act. Defying their instinctive desire for self-preservation, they seem bent upon self-destruction. They work against their own deepest instinct. As they are humbled by the terrific beating administered by alcohol, the grace of God can enter them and expel their obsession. Here their powerful instinct to live can cooperate fully with their Creator's desire to give them new life. ~12&12, pg. 64

01.07.10

2010-01-07T07:51:00.000-06:00

To affect the quality of the day--that is the highest of the arts. ~Henry David Thoreau

Today I am grateful…

that I see my recovery as a way to write the last chapters of my life as I want. There are some that decide they cannot make it that far and leave us early.
I am able to see I need to be vigilant
for a simple program that offers abundant solutions
that every day I thank my Higher Power for keeping me sober. I was not able to do it.
to strive to be more compassionate

Last night my home group discussed the first tradition (the first monthly meeting focuses on one tradition). It got me remembering the AA Rewards and thought I would post them again:

The 12 Rewards

Faith instead of despair.
Courage instead of fear.
Hope instead of desperation.
Peace of mind instead of confusion.
Real friendships instead of loneliness.
Self-respect instead of self-contempt.
Self-confidence instead of helplessness.
A clean conscious instead of a sense of guilt.
The respect of others instead of their pity and contempt.
A clean pattern of living instead of a hopeless existence.
The love and understanding of our families instead of their doubts and fears.
The freedom of a happy life instead of the bondage of an alcoholic obsession.

01.06.10

2010-01-06T09:27:00.000-06:00

Use what talents you possess; the woods would be very silent if no birds sang except those that sang best. ~Henry Van Dyke

Today I am grateful…

to have discovered saline nasal spray. No chemicals and it keeps my nasal membranes fresh!
for the extra covers I piled on the bed last night. Nothing better than sleeping in the coolness of winter with heavy bed covers, warmed underneath by the love of a Boston Bulldog.
for my new spectacles. I love them!
that today hopefully all the other drivers on the roads will be able to see my car. Yesterday they were driving as if it were a stealth car.
for purposeful days

In order to walk into the world of freedom, we must go through the door of abstinence. We need not fear the pains of withdrawal. Growth is often painful. Many have gone before us and report that the eventual freedom is well worth the temporary suffering. Our Higher Power will give us the strength to endure and will never push us farther than we can go. When we are tempted to give in, a prayer and a phone call can save us. ~Food for Thought

01.05.10

2010-01-05T09:01:00.001-06:00

Speak kind words and you will hear kind echoes. ~unknown

Today I am grateful…

that I did not freeze to death the 45 minutes I was outside yesterday morning helping a client pick out a fountain vessel for his garden. The plains of Katy, TX with winds of 25 mph on such a cold day was hateful.
for comfort food of rotisserie chicken, garlic mashed potatoes and green beans following out outing
that although my built-in ‘attention seeking device’ is still functioning well I notice it more these days and it makes me uncomfortable
for the antihistamine eye drops my doctor recommended, they are helping my eyes and my nose. I also added a saline solution nasal spray to help alleviate this extreme dry nose that accompanies artificial heat.
that I have said my prayers, done my meditations and am ready to post this and fix some breakfast

Peace: Burial at Sea ~J. M. W. Turner

As I walked through the steps, I began to recognize that God was walking with me on this journey. In all my personal relationships, I began to see evidence of God working in my life to improve it. Over and over again I would see God guide and direct me. I was given opportunities for change. I was given strength, and I was given courage. I found myself doing things that I did not know I was capable of doing. Today I am convinced that each of the changes I have gone through on this journey have occurred only because God was leading me on this path. Seeing this evidence has only worked to strengthen my faith that my Higher Power is indeed caring for me. ~Wisdom for Today

01.04.10

2010-01-04T07:45:00.000-06:00

Growl all day and you'll feel dog tired at night. ~Anonymous

Today I am grateful…

that I have what I need today
for Sunday night Scrabble and bananas foster without alcohol
today I can get back to eating healthier
God has been abundant in my life
that I never had the thought that maybe AA could teach me how to drink normally, or responsibly

Most of us, by yielding to self-will, lose out in the search for real joy, true success, and genuine happiness. Our alcoholism was perhaps the best example of self-will in action. It was only when we turned to a Higher Power that we began to find the things that we had been vainly seeking in the bottle. God has brought us this far and will not fail us when we ask for guidance and understanding in other matters. ~Walk In Dry Places

01.03.10

2010-01-03T13:09:00.001-06:00

I am still learning. ~Michelangelo’s motto

Today I am grateful…

to have slept until 8:20 this morning. I made it to the Came to Believe meeting and did not fret about posting.
for breakfast fellowship afterward and a short, cold meeting with a sponsee
that tomorrow morning we have a meeting with a new client. Great way to start the new year!
for today’s meeting about self-esteem and that I have more of it than I have ever had in this lifetime
for the indispensables: honesty, open-mindedness and willingness

New Years at the Brandenburg Gate (extraordinary!)

Even when it hurts like hell, hold fast. The pain is the arrow coming out, not the arrow going in. Faith is not about trusting a God who will rescue you from arrows but trusting in the process. Faith will center you, not rescue you. ~Pocket Sponsor

01.02.10

2010-01-02T08:55:00.001-06:00

There is not one blade of grass, there is no color in this world that is not intended to make us rejoice. ~John Calvin

Today I am grateful…

for rule #62 which encourages me to not take myself so damned seriously
for butterscotch milkshakes from Little Bigs
for the last couple of sane sharings at last night’s meeting. We should remember to not share our sickest thoughts when there is a newcomer in the room.
that I have today to be myself and treat others with respect
for the choices I have today, for the grace in my life, that just for today I will have what I need
that I wound up, after all, in the winner's circle

You are so made that you can only carry the weight of twenty-four hours, no more. If you weigh yourself down with the years behind and the days ahead, your back breaks. God has promised to help with the burdens of the day only. If you are foolish enough to gather again that burden of the past and carry it, then indeed you cannot expect God to help you bear it. So forget that which lies behind you and
breathe in the blessing of each new day. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

01.01.10

2010-01-01T09:29:00.001-06:00

The fragrance always stays in the hand that gives the rose. ~Hada Bejar

Today I am grateful…

to have run in the new year with sober loved ones, come home to Bunny safe and sound after traveling behind a drunk on the way home and slept soundly
to have been with a friend as he turned 19 years sober at midnight
at faith and trust have taken on a self-propelling force
that I have today more than I could have ever dreamed during my drinking, and I have a pretty vivid imagination. My Higher Power has an imagination that is unlimited by thoughts.
that I wish for you a Happy New Year!

Nothing is more attractive than sharing with others. No trait will be admired as much as generosity. There is no surer way to gain the respect of friends and neighbors than to show by what we give that we care about others. We can give many things besides money, shelter, clothing, or food to those in need. We can give the rich person love and understanding that money can't buy. We can sympathize with those who are troubled, even though they appear wealthier than ourselves. We can share experience, strength, and hope with those who are ill or unhappy. We can even share our suffering with others who suffer, and hold up a light for them on the road to recovery. ~Today’s Gift

12.31.09

2009-12-31T09:45:00.001-06:00

For last year's words belong to last year's language and next year's words await another voice. ~Little Gidding II

Today I am grateful…

for a year of growth, a few growing pains, laughter, new friends, God doing for me what I could not do for myself
for such abundance for which to be grateful
that I have been given exactly what I needed for every day on this earth
for a Higher Power and the fellowship of AA to guide me
to end a year with no regrets

New Year's Eve is a good time to reflect upon the closing year and set our direction for the year ahead. This day reminds us that every day of the year is lived just one at a time. Looking back, we can see a year's change in ourselves. We see the progress we have made on … our journey. Perhaps we see how much stronger we are emotionally. Maybe we see relationships that have developed because of our growing ability to love. Certainly all of us have some things we regret and some changes we mourn. They too have their place today.

As we begin the coming year, let us review our relationship with each of the Steps. We may perceive aspects of our program that call for more attention. One or two particular Steps may speak to our needs at this time or may have been overlooked in this past year. On this last day of the year, we can again turn our lives and will over to the care of a loving God. ~Touchstones

Dichotomy and Social Theory

2009-12-30T23:39:00.000-06:00

30" x 30", acrylic on canvas

12.30.09

2009-12-30T09:05:00.000-06:00

The essence of all growth is a willingness to change for the better and then an unremitting willingness to shoulder whatever responsibility this entails. ~Bill W

Today I am grateful…

for the lenses ordered for my new eyeglasses. Even with a $50 discount they cost close to a month’s rent. Ridiculous. Good news—I may get to barter for my next pair.
for AA meetings. They are the best show in town.
for my friend, the editor, schooling me on the overuse of the word ‘that’. She said it was the one of the most overused word. If a sentence can be stated with out ‘that’, then drop it.
for friends who find Scrabble and flatulence fun. Seriously.
for a heart that stays light despite the fact my mind wants to make it fearful

Lying can be like sailing choppy waters. The more we lie, the higher the waves get, and the harder the sailing. When we lie, we feel we've failed ourselves and others. We have to work hard to cover up our lies, and the fear of someone finding out is always with us.
If we ask God for courage to tell the truth, we can be like the sailboat on a clear and calm day. We can enjoy the small waves and the light warm breeze we've given ourselves. Honesty is a good habit, and is easy. With a little faith in our own worth, we can choose the calm waters' honesty and apply our creativity to new, growth-oriented activities instead of covering up old mistakes. ~Today’s Gift

12.29.09

2009-12-29T07:57:00.001-06:00

When we lie to ourselves, we cannot tell the truth to others. ~Today’s Gift

Today I am grateful…

that the eye doctor told me yesterday I had a beautiful macula lutea and a beautiful optic nerve. Of course I thanked her.
that I get excited when I can share my E, S and H
that I don’t get bent that others have lots of money to spend on stuff. I was in Nordstrom’s yesterday exchanging a shirt given to me for Christmas from a client. She has lots of money. There were people all around spending lots of money on clothes. I can look pretty snappy on not much money spent on clothes. I managed to get two shirts and a gift card for the exchange!
that I love me some alcoholics
for the adventure (see below)

The spirit of adventure settles over us slowly sometimes. In the beginning, when those old winds of change blow, we turn our backs, fight, and resist. We just want things to stay the same. Gradually we let go of the need to control. We allow things to change and us to change with them.

We accept the change.

Then we round the corner and find a wonderful lesson there, and then another, and another. Soon we find ourselves looking forward to taking the next step, anxious to see what lies in front of us today.Where will my path lead? Who will I meet? What will I learn? What wonderful lesson is taking place right now?

And the adventure begins to consume us. ~More Language of Letting Go

Why Is It We Are Here?

2009-12-28T11:37:00.002-06:00

12" x 12", acrylic on canvas

12.28.09

2009-12-28T09:01:00.000-06:00

If you walk with lame men you will soon limp yourself. ~Seaman McManus

Today I am grateful…

that yesterday’s low blood sugar attack was abated with Mexican food
that when we were in the book store yesterday I checked the Post Secret books. Inside two were secrets placed by anonymous people. One said “You and I are connected.” The other was written by a woman who lost her love, it told of how she puts his ring on and wonders.
that today I have a different experience of this odd time between holidays. In my drinking days I would be in the midst of one long binge. Days and nights blurring together. The world a bay.
that a friendly, understanding voice is just a phone call away, a click of the keyboard, a meeting close by
to have what i need for this day

Suicide Bunny

As the sore tooth draws our tongue, so do rejections, affronts, painful criticisms, both past and present draw our minds. We court self-pity, both loving and hating it. But we can change this pattern. First we must decide we are ready to do so. The program tells us we must become "entirely ready." And then we must ask to have this shortcoming removed.
The desire to dwell on the injustices of our lives becomes habitual. It takes hours of our time. It influences our perceptions of all other experiences. We have to be willing to replace that time-consuming activity with one that's good and healthy.
We must be prepared for all of life to change. Our overriding self-pity has so tarnished our perceptions that we may never have sensed all the good that life daily offers. How often we see the glass as half-empty rather than half-full!
A new set of experiences awaits me today. And I can perceive them unfettered by the memories of the painful past. Self-pity need not cage me, today. ~Each Day a New Beginning

12.27.09

2009-12-27T08:43:00.000-06:00

Everyone wants to be appreciated, so if you appreciate someone, don't keep it a secret. ~Mary Kay Ash

Today I am grateful…

to have slept fairly well after a day of my allergies kicking my ass
that I will not spend any time in an airport today
to watch Belle and Bunny play in the cold and to watch from my warm little comfort zone
for a Higher Power that sustains my life and sustains my future
that sometimes patterns work together, sometimes not (see below)

Build your life on the firm foundation of true gratitude to God for all His blessings and true humility because of your unworthiness of these blessings. Build the frame of your life out of self-discipline, never let yourself get selfish or lazy or contented with yourself. Build the walls of your life out of service to others, helping others find the way to live. Build the roof of your life out of prayer and quiet times, waiting for God's guidance from above. Build a garden around your life out of peace of mind and serenity and a sure faith. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

12.26.09

2009-12-26T09:05:00.001-06:00

I live today as I want to remember my life. ~Ruth Fishel

Today I am grateful…

to return to a more normal eating pattern today. That holiday food made me feel toxic.
that my spirit this Christmas seemed more in tune than in many, many years
for sober relationships with people that really get me
that this morning I am not having to deal with any results of having put alcohol into my body yesterday
that my sister has her son home for the holiday weekend and Lou has her son with her

Anytime we forget to let go, life will jog us back into remembering. There is nothing that we can cling to in this world. Ultimately, all that we hold dear will require us to let go, in some shape or form. That child will grow up and leave home. That love relationship that's going so wonderfully? A new cycle will come, in its time. That friendship will change. That job you thought you'd always have? Oops, the company merged. Your position is changed.

Let yourself bond. Get close to that woman or man. Let yourself enjoy being friends with the best friend you've ever had. Be a loving parent, 100 percent. Throw yourself into that job with all your heart and soul.

But your security and joy are not in that other person or job. The magic is in you. ~More Language of Letting Go

Merry Christmas

2009-12-25T07:29:00.001-06:00

12.24.09

2009-12-24T09:01:00.000-06:00

Christmas gift suggestions: To your enemy, forgiveness. To an opponent, tolerance. To a friend, your heart. To a customer, service. To all, charity. To every child, a good example. To yourself, respect. ~Oren Arnold

Today I am grateful…

that today is not the start of a long holiday binge
for double meeting days
that today I have what I want, I want what I have
that the basis of my recovery program is one of spirituality, the kind that fits me and supports me. Not something condemning or frightening, but loving and nurturing.
that today someone will get sober for the first day and someone will relapse after years of sobriety. Today I do not have to be either, but can be supportive.

Many of us have old, painful memories triggered by the holidays. Many of us feel a great deal of relief when the holiday is ended.
One of the greatest gifts of recovery is learning that we are not alone. There are probably as many of us in conflict during the holidays than there are those who feel at peace. We're learning, through trial and error, how to take care of ourselves a little better each holiday season.
Our first recovery task during the holidays is to accept ourselves, our situation, and our feelings about our situation. We accept our guilt, anger, and sense of loss. It's all okay.
There is no right or perfect way to handle the holidays. Our strength can be found in doing the best we can, one year at a time. ~More Language of Letting Go

12.23.09

2009-12-23T08:45:00.000-06:00

The darkness of our world awaits you -- not to engulf you, but to be transformed by you. During this Season of the Light, be its Source for all those who search for Joy. ~Neale Donald Walsh

Today I am grateful…

for a two meeting Tuesday, that I did not totally lose my cool in the midst of simple errands while others were in the frenzy of holiday shopping, a winter afternoon nap, coffee at Starbucks before the Little Table meeting, making and decorating holiday sugar cookies in the kitchen of friends, laughing and cutting up, staying up way too late, falling asleep smiling and grateful, that I might just take a quick morning nap

We have an epidemic of loneliness among men in our world. Everywhere, men are walking around as though in plastic bubbles that prevent contact with others. We are cut off from closeness with our brothers and sisters, our own children, our mates, coworkers, and neighbors. We have learned to play the role, be efficient, and look good. Do we dare let others know how we feel? Will they look down on us? Will they think we're strange?

All this has made us ripe for the diseases of addiction and codependency. Some of us have romanticized the pain of loneliness and glorified it. We sought some comfort for our pain, but we only perpetuated it. Breaking through the barrier to let someone know us can be incredibly difficult. Yet, just to say "I feel lonely" to another person makes us slightly less alone. Going to meetings and working this program provide a way out. The greatest benefits of the program for many of us have been recovery from loneliness and the genuine relationships we have developed. ~Touchstones

12.22.09

2009-12-22T07:49:00.000-06:00

Wherever there is a human being, there is an opportunity for a kindness. ~Seneca

Today I am grateful…

for fast and furious iPhone Scrabble games with three friends last night before bedtime
for peaceful sleep and a snoring pup under the covers next to me
for the Monday night Beginners meeting. It makes me feel joyous and uncomfortable. I am joyous to be in recovery and it makes me uncomfortable to remember what brought me there.
for the chuckle I got when someone told me last night they wanted to see my shoe closet
that there is no punishment, only guidance

Somewhere someone is thinking of you. Someone is calling you an angel. This person is using celestial colors to paint your image. Someone is making you into a vision so beautiful that it can only live in the mind. Someone is thinking of the way your breath escapes your lips when you are touched. How your eyes close and your jaw tightens with concentration as you give pleasure a home. These thoughts are saving a life somewhere right now. In some airless apartment on a dark, urine stained, whore lined street, someone is calling out to you silently and you are answering without even being there. So crystalline. So pure. Such life saving power when you smile. You will never know how you have cauterized my wounds. So sad that we will never touch. How it hurts me to know that I will never be able to give you everything I have. ~Henry Rollins

12.21.09

2009-12-21T07:57:00.000-06:00

The acknowledge of your weakness is the first step in repairing your loss. ~Thomas Kempis

Today I am grateful…

for Christmas dinner with friends that turned out lovely despite our waiter being higher than anyone I have seen in a long time. He was fascinated with the cutlery and making weird motions in the air with his hands. Ca-razy!
that it’s a cool, crisp December day. I have work to do and am running a bit late, but sticking to commitments
that no matter how busy life gets, I have had time every morning for me and God
that my Higher Power walks ahead of me
for the remembrance of yesterday, the luxury of today and the promise of tomorrow

Until we admit defeat, we will not succeed ... The biggest defeat is the one that is dealt to our illusions of self-reliance and self-sufficiency. As long as we insist on trying to control our lives by ourselves, we will be confused. It is by relinquishing control that we gain strength and are freed from our compulsion and obsession. We save our lives by giving them away. ~Food For Thought

12.20.09

2009-12-20T08:51:00.002-06:00

There are two ways of spreading light: to be the candle or the mirror that reflects it. ~Edith Wharton

Today I am grateful…

that I am not living in the northeast. Being trapped by snow storms is not where I want to be
for laughing with friends and fellows to end the day
that happiness is increased when shared
that lately God has been giving me the words to say when I am uncertain
that today and every day are chances to learn

Kindle my heart's flame with thy flame, may thy light banish darkness forever ~Jyota se Jyota

Our Higher Power is the candle. And our hearts, like a mirror, reflect a warm, loving glow. But when we used alcohol and other drugs, we tired to be the candle. We wanted to have control. Many of us acted like this to hide how out of control we felt. We never thought we could be happy by admitting we were out of control. In recovery, we accept that it’s okay to be the mirror. We accept that our Higher Power is the candle that guides us. ~Keep It Simple

12.19.09

2009-12-19T08:51:00.001-06:00

What would you attempt to do if you knew you could not fail? ~Marianne Williamson

Today I am grateful…

that while I am a great fan of gray weather it is nice to see the sun shining on this chilly December morning
that if reality TV shows are any indication of what is real, then we are in a heap of trouble, boy
for the incredible fare we had last night at Feast
when our waiter announced his name, “I’m Christian, I’ll be serving you tonight”, I said loudly, “Hi, Christian!” It’s what I am used to. It’s how I roll.
that this morning I will do my bookkeeping work at Lambda, meet with my sponsor, have lunch with another drunk then go to his home to look at his art and help him choose what and how to price it for his first gallery show

I paid my dues for membership in the program through my years of addictive using. But these are the dues only for membership. In recovery I still need to do my part and accept the responsibilities that come with working the program and following its principles. I am part of a much bigger whole, but I am still only one person. The program provides me with the principles I need to discover the life that is hidden inside of me, the life that my Higher Power wants me to live. I still have to walk the walk. I am given privileges in the program as I get more clean time under my belt. It becomes my responsibility to share in the work of the program. ~Wisdom for Today

12.18.09

2009-12-18T08:23:00.000-06:00

Give as much of yourself as you can to as much of your higher power as you can understand. ~S.H.

Today I am grateful…

for the ease of spirit recovery has given me
that when I see the Today Show outside Rockefeller Plaza it makes me smile and remember when Dave and I were in NYC and would walk over and watch
that I love me some alcoholics, even when they act up
that I want all the promises. Which one would you want to do without?
that I don't get lonely, my anger subsides fairly quickly, if I get tired I nap and my hunger only comes from watching my food intake

Faith - the sacred place in every person, where we stand alone with God. Each of us must forge our own unique relationship with God, a God who is everywhere and speaks to us in all we do. It is up to us to stop and listen. It is up to us to respond - to begin the conversation. And a conversation is the first step - just as in any relationship - in establishing trust, in building friendship, in creating communion. ~Friendship with God

12.17.09

2009-12-17T08:33:00.001-06:00

If you aren't surrounded by people who inspire you, I recommend you find some. It's the only way to fly. ~David N

Today I am grateful…

that sometimes my thoughts try to get the best of me. They try really hard. Really, really hard—but my Higher Power tries harder to keep me sane.
for my favorite AA axiom – This Too Shall Pass
that today I can walk a path of faith
that if I trip I have tools to help me right myself, and if that fails I can turn to another alcoholic, my Higher Power, or just wait

The way of faith is of course not confined to A.A. It is the way for everybody who wants to really live. But many people can go through life without much of it. Many are doing so, to their own sorrow. The world is full of lack of faith. Many people have lost confidence in any meaning in the universe. Many are wondering if it has any meaning at all. Many are at loose ends. Life has no goal for many. They are strangers in the land. They are not at home. But for us in A.A. the way of faith is the way of life. We have proved by our past lives that we could not live without it. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Anyway

2009-12-16T18:05:00.000-06:00

People are often unreasonable, illogical and self-centered.

Forgive them anyway.

If you are kind, people may accuse you of selfish ulterior motives.

Be kind anyway.

If you are successful, you will win some false friends and some true enemies.

Succeed anyway.

If you are honest and frank, people may cheat you.

Be honest and frank anyway.

What you spend years building, someone could destroy overnight.

Build anyway.

If you find serenity and happiness, others might be jealous.

Be happy anyway.

The good you do today will often be forgotten.

Be good anyway.

Give the world the best you have and it may never be enough.

Give the world your best, anyway.

You see, in the final analysis it is between you and God.

It was never between you and them, anyway.

This was shared by Glenda Mc who told their story today. I thought you would enjoy it.

12.16.09

2009-12-16T08:03:00.000-06:00

Do not search for happiness, search for right living and happiness will be your reward.~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Today I am grateful…

for live Scrabble at Starbucks
for Words With Friends (Scrabble-like game on my iPhone)
for rule #62. Don’t take yourself so damned seriously.
that I have been given today and the ability to make of it what I will
for all you bloggers that assist my Higher Power in keeping me sober a day at a time

Getting well is an adventure. We have moved out of the repetitious rut of past habits and are reaching into the unknown. There are times when we are anxious and fearful that we will not be able to make it. We are not alone. There is a Higher Power that guides us and an organization of friends who sustain us. The process of getting well is a privilege and a gift. ~Food for Thought

12.15.09

2009-12-15T07:53:00.000-06:00

My life would suck without you. ~Kelly, Gottwald, Martin

Today I am grateful…

that someone dear to me referred to me as their BFF
that last night God gave me the words to say when I was becoming frustrated with someone
that if I sit in the rooms of AA for a while, work the steps a few times and work with others—God does for me what I couldn’t do for myself
for the sounds of rustling wind and leaves blowing against the back glass door
that I have all I need for today…
that Mary Christine is one year older today

Life is a process, and we are progressing beautifully. We are no longer abusing our bodies and minds with drugs. We are taking special time, daily, to look for guidance. We are working the Steps of the program, better and better as the abstinent days add up. We are free from past behaviors. And we can be free from our negative attitudes too.
Making a decision to look for the good in our experiences and in our friends and acquaintances frees us from so much frustration. It ushers in happiness, no only for us but for the others we are treating agreeably. Happiness is a byproduct of living the right kind of life. ~Each Day a New Beginning

12.14.09

2009-12-14T09:29:00.000-06:00

The human spirit rings with hope at the sound of an encouraging word. ~unknown

Today I am grateful…

for a hairdresser’s day off
for holiday fellowship with a bunch of sober drunks and a couple that weren’t quite so sober
that when I pay attention the light comes on
for in house laundry--what a luxury
that I am in acceptance that what I had to go through to get here was what it was. Now I am here and have a life that is satisfying.

Being creative moves us toward wholeness as people. As we create on the outside, we are being created on the inside. The way in which we live every aspect of our lives is a creative, growing process and a partnership with God.
As I approach this day, I will have an attitude of creativity that will nurture the wondering child within me. ~Touchstones

12.13.09

2009-12-13T08:49:00.000-06:00

Man cannot remake himself without suffering. For he is both the marble and the sculptor. ~Alexis Carrel

Today I am grateful…

for the overwhelming gratitude I experienced yesterday. It lasted all day. I watched two episodes of Glee and cried like a baby. I love it when my emotions are bubbling at the surface like that, it keeps me in touch with my Higher Power.
for calls from old friends from far away places
to have thoroughly enjoyed a holiday party last night. The home of two women was open to so many people, and the house is so HUGE it allowed for a comfortable mixing and didn’t feel crowded. I also got to see people react to two of my paintings (one of which is in the living room and faces a Frances Bacon. OMG!)
for all the hand holding on the paths to recovery
that Houston elected the first openly gay mayor of a top ten US city

Qzzie and Harriette and the boys

As for uniqueness, there is some truth in this. We all have our own individual personalities. Each of us has our own story. What is truly amazing is that God can speak to us all in a language we understand. I have watched as God turned my life around, unraveling the problems and straightening out my path. I have watched as others come into the program, each with a set of uniquely human problems. If they stick with it, God talks to them in a language they understand; and it works for them. This is a part of the miracle that is God. With such incredible diversity of peoples attending meetings, each with their own unique set of circumstances, it still works. God is the great interpreter for each of us. He makes it possible for us to use these tools and teaches us about a program of recovery. ~Wisdom for Today

12.12.09

2009-12-12T09:11:00.001-06:00

I like a man with faults, especially when he knows it. To err is human – I'm uncomfortable around gods. ~Hugh Prather

Today I am grateful…

to be reminded from a post on Lou’s blog about how I used to wish there were a button I could push to make things better. I now know the WORK is what gets us to where we wish to be. A button like that would not take care of the causes behind my alcoholism.
that I was willing to do the work, somehow, when I came back into the rooms of AA
that I have been able to share with a friend how to start painting. He sent me a photo last night of his first layout, and it knocked my socks off.
that I am more in the mood for Christmas this year than I have been in decades
that my Higher Power has shown me that in a tear of gratitude holds all the love I need, all the spiritual growth I crave, all the acceptance I need to move me through this life in a human body

Each day, ask God what God wants us to do today; then ask God to help. A simple request, but so profound and far reaching it can take us anywhere we need to go.

Listen: all that we want, all that we need, all the answers, all the help, all the good, all the love, all the healing, all the wisdom, all the fulfillment of desire is embodied in this simple request. We need say no more than Thank You.

This Plan that has been made for us is not one of deprivation. It is one of fullness, joy, and abundance. Walk into it.

See for yourself. ~The Language of Letting Go

12.11.(10).09

2009-12-11T07:23:00.000-06:00

The night of the past is gone, this day is ours. ~Twenty-Four Hours a Day

Today I am grateful…

for the luxury of central air and heat
for my own washer/dryer combo
for smiles on happy dogs (below is not Bunny)
the company of strangers and the comfort of friends
for shopping sprees at Texas Art Supply

Help me remember that frustration and confusion usually precede growth. If my situation is challenging me, it is because I'm learning something new, rising to a higher level of understanding. Help me be grateful, even in my frustration, that life is an exciting progression of lessons. ~The Language of Letting Go

Pull My Finger

2009-12-10T17:25:00.000-06:00

HERE!

12.10.09

2009-12-10T07:49:00.000-06:00

If you can just observe what you are and move with it, then you will find that it is possible to go infinitely far. ~J. Krishnamurti

Today I am grateful…

for the language of Alcoholics Anonymous. I always wanted to be in on things, now I am.
that I still believe in magic
for the willingness to do the work, that is God doing for me what I could not do for myself
that recovery brings out human-ness
for last night’s topic ‘acceptance’. I need to hear this over and over and over. And then some.

When we were small, we dreamed a thousand dreams about what could happen in our lives. Anything, even magical things, seemed like they could happen, and our world was full of visions. That part of us that believes wonderful, magical things can happen is still in us. It may have been beaten down for a while, but it is still there waiting to help us seek the wonderful, lovely, and good things in life. ~Today's Gift